Idaho's Weekly Journal of Local & National Commentary Week 2815


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by Free Market Duck


Feds Redefine Pizza as a Vegetable

(Feb 24, 2012)

Washington, DC -- Whoa, jump off your ponies, pull up the barn floor, shut up and pour yourselves another hot cup of Rocket Java, girl friends.  The federal government wants to redefine a pizza as a vegetable.  Uh-huh.  A vegetable.

That reminds me of a satirical article in The Onion a few years back in which a vegetarian group redefined cows as plants so the vegans could gobble down hamburgers and steaks.  Chickens became legumes, fish became seaweed, and so on.

So, what's the beef about today's Department of Education and US Department of Agriculture wanting to redefine a pizza in our public schools lunch program as a vegetable?  How do the bureaucrats plan to alter reality for the kids?

Simple.  Add more marinara tomato sauce to the public school pizzas, thus pretending a pizza is actually a tomato, and redefine a pizza as a vegetable.  That way, kids won't get fat.

As an aside, a tomato is not a vegetable; it is a fruit.  So, not only are the USDA and Dept of Education bureaucrats IGNORANT about the biological category of a tomato, they are now trying to destroy basic reality (metaphysics and epistemology) of the real world.

As Aristotle taught thousands of years ago, A equals A, and A cannot also equal B at the same time.  That's a given.  Otherwise, nobody could define reality and establish categories of thought in order to survive in the real world.

Then, with no true categories of thought, nobody could establish a "self," thus self identity, or self esteem.  Nobody could define what's good or bad for survival of the individual -- or humanity -- in the real world.  Nobody could establish a moral right and wrong.  What's good for me, what's bad for me?  What's good for my family, what's good for homo sapiens on planet Earth and in the Universe?

Finally, with no moral philosophy as a guide, nobody could then decide how to choose which social-political-economic system under which to live since there would be no reality and no right or wrong.

Therefore, no Age of Enlightenment, no inherent individual rights, no US Constitution, no Bill of Rights, no objective judicial system, no rights and wrongs.  No difference between a pizza and a vegetable, or tomato.  Just a big mess of Disconnected Government Thought globs masquerading as "thinking."

Young children are especially susceptible to this type of confusing "education."  Half of them will rebel, thinking their teachers are idiots -- which is not far from the truth.  Their conclusion is likely to be that the public education system is just a bunch of stupid adults who don't even know the difference between a pizza and a vegetable -- or a fruit.  Some students will then ask, "So what the hell is a hamburger and French Fries?" and receive no answer.  At least not a logical answer.  God help any kid who wants a chocolate malt.  Maybe that's now a bulldozer or a Margarita.  Who knows?

All of this lunch room absurdity is the inevitable result of a collectivist, national education system that is now trying to "solve" student obesity problems by redefining a pizza as a "vegetable."  Not even a fruit.

But that's the real objective of those in the government bureaucracy, isn't it:  create a Federal Education System to pump out a bunch of non-thinking little authoritarians, children who can't think for themselves, can only follow orders, and have to rely on the government for answers -- illogical answers -- to all of their questions.

What are we doing to our children's minds?  We are giving them on-the-job training to become good little altruistic state collectivists.  Our kids are not attending public school to ask intellectual questions.  They're being forced to attend so they can get their State Work Permits and participate in Social Networking.  They're being taught that their self-identities and individual rights to their own minds and bodies come from government decrees, government gifts if you play your cards right and suck up to the right power group.

The key word is Group.  Just educate our children enough to be able to go to the State voting booth and vote for the biggest gang, the biggest group, the biggest majority mob that will provide all the free cookies those currently in power say everybody is entitled to.  Entitled by dint of the fact that your gang out-voted all the other gangs.

There is no longer a concept of individual.  Or individual rights.  Or private property rights.  No rights to your own mind and body.  There is only the Group, the Gang, the Mob, the Democratic Majority.  There is only social networking.

Intellectual questions no longer exist.  Questions such as, "What is life?" are non-questions today.  It's whatever the feds say it is.  What's the right moral thing to do?  Whatever the government says you can do.  And it can change daily.  Just like President Obama's view of the US Constitution.  It changes daily, according to Democratic Majority Rule.  What's a pizza?  Ho-Ho-Ho, it's now a vegetable, or a tomato.  Why?  Don't ask because there is no longer objective reality.

Welcome to George Orwell's '1984 New Speak' where war is peace, lies are the truth, and... pizzas are vegetables, tomatoes.  Not even fruits.

Government brainwashing has now moved out of our nationalized public classrooms and into the school cafeteria.  A pizza is now a vegetable and you're a monkey's uncle. FM Duck

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