Idaho's Weekly Journal of Local & National Commentary Week 2815


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by Free Market Duck

Idaho Gov Butch Otter Holds Secret Meeting to Tax Inner Tubes on Boise River
(Dec 01, 2007)

What's next, taxing Rubber Duckie water wings?

Boise, ID Hang onto your inner tubes, kids, and don't jump into the water just yet.  You might soon need a license to float the Boise River next summer.

   No sooner do we describe our Gov's continually-changing political views as a Libertarian on Monday, GOP on Tuesday, Liberal on Wednesday, Socialist on Thursday, Fascist on Friday, Cowboy on Saturday, and Catholic on Sunday, than he pops up today, Fascist Friday, with another secret meeting to tax your rubber boats, kayaks, and all non-motorized water craft in Idaho.

   According to the Idaho Statesman, motorized registrations rake in $1.6 million annually.  State taxes and federal earmark robberies rake in another $851,000.  Boiseans already pay an increased Ada County tax for the facilities at the River Raft launches at Barber Park, one of the reasons for Otter's new Rubber Duckie Inner Tube Tax.

   We already pay federal non-motorized boat taxes on the Payette, South Fork of the Snake, Middle Fork of the Salmon, and Main Salmon Rivers.  Should we tax our children's rubber boots if they slosh home from school stomping in the rain-filled street gutters?  Oh-oh, I smell a Playing In The Sprinklers & Wading Pool Tax coming up. 

   Benjamin Franklin and James Madison are no doubt turning over in their graves right about now.  First we tax the fish under the water and now we tax non-motorized floating objects (NMFOs) -- pronounced "nymphos" but not to be confused with sex-starved saucy wenches in a Shakespearean play -- on top of the water.  Should we tax Idaho submarines and snorkelers next?  Why not?  Maybe we'll get more federal grant money for Idaho Submarines?

   When will this incessant government spending that necessitates taxation for air and water and food and houses and purple shoestrings ever end?  When we cut the Earth's population from 8 billion to more like 500 million, which is probably a more sustainable level at which humans can coexist with Mother Earth without pollution and over-crowding.

   What we really have is an overpopulation problem, not a shortage of usage taxes.  Since taxation tends to discourage the taxed activity, maybe what we need is a new Screw Tax -- make that a Birth Tax -- not a Rubber Duckie Inner Tube tax.  How about it, Gov Otter, does Monday work for you? -- FM Duck

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